Marriage on the Brink: Why Women in the UK and US Are Saying "I Don’t"

 Love on Hold: Are Women in the UK and US Redefining Life Without Marriage?

In the quiet corners of Boston, 29-year-old accountant Andrea Vorlicek has traded swiping right for floor plans and baby names. After years of lackluster dates, she’s decided to build her future—house, kids, and all—on her own terms. “I’d rather be solo than settle,” she says, echoing a sentiment rippling across the Atlantic. In the United States and the United Kingdom, women are increasingly stepping away from the altar, driven by seismic shifts in education, economics, politics, and personal priorities. But is this phenomenon unfolding the same way on both sides of the pond? Let’s dive into the numbers and stories to find out.

The Single Life Boom: Stats Tell the Tale

In the US, the share of women aged 18-40 who are single—neither married nor cohabiting—hit 51.4% in 2023, up from 41.8% in 2000, per the Aspen Economic Strategy Group. Marriage rates have been sliding for decades, dropping from 72% of US adults in 1960 to 53% in 2019, according to Pew Research Center. For women, the decline is stark: among those born between 1930 and 1980, marriage rates by age 45 for non-college-educated women plummeted from 79% to 52%, per Cornell University economist Benjamin Goldman.

The UK mirrors this trend, albeit with its own flavor. The Office for National Statistics (ONS) reports that in 2021, 35.1% of UK adults aged 16 and over were single—never married—up from 29.6% in 2002. For women aged 30-34, the proportion who’ve never tied the knot rose from 20.3% in 1991 to 38.9% in 2021. Marriage rates in England and Wales hit a historic low in 2019, with just 219,850 weddings—the fewest since records began in 1862. Across both nations, the data screams: women are rethinking the rush to “I do.”

Education and Earnings: The Gender Gap Grows

One driver of this shift is the widening gender gap in education and economic power. In the US, 47% of women aged 25-34 held a bachelor’s degree in 2024, compared to 37% of men, per Pew. This education edge translates to cash: a bachelor’s degree boosts lifetime earnings by about $1 million, says a 2024 Georgetown University report. Women’s labor force participation has also soared, from 30% in 1950 to 47% in 2023, per the Bureau of Labor Statistics, shrinking the wealth gap between single men and women—though couples still outpace singles with a median wealth of $393,000 versus $80,000 in 2022.

The UK tells a similar story. In 2023, 41.2% of UK women aged 25-34 had a degree, outpacing men at 36.8%, per the Higher Education Statistics Agency (HESA). Women’s employment rate hit 72.7% in 2023, up from 56.3% in 1971, according to ONS. Single women in the UK are buying homes at a brisk pace too—29% of mortgage approvals in 2022 went to solo female buyers, per Halifax data, compared to 24% for solo men. Economic independence is rewriting the script: why marry for stability when you can build it yourself?

Romance on the Back Burner

Surveys reveal a cooling interest in romance. In the US, a 2022 Pew survey found only 34% of single women were seeking love, down from 38% in 2019, while 54% of single men were still looking (down from 61%). A 2024 AEI survey of 5,837 adults showed 52% of single women felt happier than their married peers, versus 36% of single men. Across the pond, a 2023 YouGov poll found 42% of UK single women aged 18-34 weren’t actively dating, compared to 31% of men, with 48% saying they were content alone.

Social media amplifies this shift. TikTok trends like “boy sober” in the US and “solo glow” in the UK celebrate self-focus over coupledom. Gen Z in both countries is less romantically active—US data from the CDC shows teens having less sex than prior generations, while a 2021 UK Natsal survey found 29% of 16-24-year-olds hadn’t had sex in the past year, up from 23% a decade earlier. Love, it seems, is losing its urgency.

The Marriage Mismatch: Expectations vs. Reality

Why the retreat from romance? Expectations are sky-high. In the US, a 2023 AEI survey found 50% of college-educated single women blamed their status on men not meeting their standards, compared to 23% of men. Dating apps, says University of Maryland economist Melissa Kearney, fuel this by dangling the promise of a “better match.” In the UK, a 2022 Relate survey found 46% of single women felt potential partners lacked ambition or shared values, versus 33% of men.

Take Katie Kirsch, a 30-year-old New Yorker who logged countless hours on Hinge only to pause her search. “Men were either intimidated by my drive or too laid-back,” she says. In London, 32-year-old marketing exec Sophie Hargrove echoes this: “I want someone who matches my hustle, but too many guys expect me to slow down for them.” The mismatch is glaring—women’s gains in education and career aren’t mirrored by men, leaving a romantic gulf.

Political and Cultural Chasms

Politics adds another layer. In the US, 39% of women aged 18-29 identified as liberal in 2024, per Gallup, versus 25% of men—a gap that tripled since 2014. In the UK, a 2023 British Election Study found 36% of women under 30 leaned left, compared to 27% of men. These divides shape values—US women like Rachael Gosetti, a Georgia single mom, cite conservative abortion laws as a dating deterrent, while UK women like Bristol’s Ellie Turner, 28, balk at partners who don’t support gender equality. “It’s not just politics,” says psychology professor Galena Rhoades. “It’s worldview.”

Solo Parenthood: A Bold New Frontier

Some women are decoupling love from family entirely. In the US, the “Single Mothers by Choice” movement is gaining traction—34-year-old Tina Noohi is saving for a baby sans partner. The US Census notes 41% of births in 2008 were to unmarried women, up from 5% in 1960. In the UK, ONS data shows 48.7% of births in 2021 were outside marriage or civil partnerships, up from 25.3% in 1988. While not all are “by choice,” a 2023 UK Fertility Network survey found 15% of single women under 40 were considering solo parenthood, up from 9% in 2018. The stigma is fading—family is what you make it.

The Flip Side: Is This Freedom or Fallout?

Not everyone’s cheering. “If women are choosing this, great,” says Kearney. “But if it’s Plan B because the dating pool’s a mess, that’s a crisis.” In the US, men’s economic struggles—especially among the non-degreed—fuel the mismatch, with Goldman noting a dearth of “marriageable” men. In the UK, a 2022 Resolution Foundation report found men’s real wages stagnated since 2008, while women’s rose 8%, widening the gap. For every Andrea or Sophie thriving solo, others feel the sting of an unchosen path.

A Transatlantic Reckoning

So, is the UK evolving like the US? Yes, but with nuances. Both nations see women outpacing men in education and earnings, driving a single-life surge. Yet the US grapples with sharper political divides and a bigger wealth gap between couples and singles, while the UK’s slower marriage decline reflects a less drastic cultural shift. Still, the core truth holds: women are redefining adulthood, one solo mortgage and dog shelter shift at a time. Love might knock, but they’re not waiting by the door.